Putting Your Nose to the Grindstone
Let me give you some background information before I delve into the meat and potatoes: Since this time 2 years ago, I haven’t had more than 2 weeks off of school or work. Now, don’t interpret that the wrong way and say, “Eric, you’re a total wuss. There’s people out there who only get a week off every year.” I understand that having as many breaks as I do is a very wonderful, joyous thing, and I’m not complaining about it. I do, though, think that every once in a while you have to take more than a week or two off. It lets you disconnect from your work for a little while and rest your mind — a break that lasts less than a week or two just doesn’t have the same mentally-unwinding effect. So, now that I have a nice 1 month block of time off for the first time in two years, I thought that what I’d spend most of my time doing would be playing video games or guitar, or just vegging out in front of the TV.
What I found, though, is that wasn’t the case at all.
All of my time has been spent in front of the computer coding or reading, hanging out with Jess, and less than 5% TV and video games. This has lead me to reason about why this isn’t the case during the school year or during my shorter breaks. I think I’ve figured it out. When I’m doing work that doesn’t have any challenge or originality in it (schoolwork), or working/being somewhere that’s unpleasant to work/be in (computer lab I worked in over the summer, classroom), it drains me of my desire to do any “work,” because my mind associates the idea of work with that unpleasantness. The unpleasantness of running over problems and ideas that I’ve run over a million times; the unpleasantness of sitting in a plastic chair that’s attached to your desk, or, even worse, one that has 4 little wheels at the end of it so you keep sliding around the floor, your legs stabilizers in constant adjustment. Or, even, one might imagine, the unpleasantness of putting your nose to a grindstone.
Where’d that saying come from anyway? It must’ve been someone who hated their job or the conditions they had to do it in. Doing work should be something enjoyable. It should be an application of all your strengths and past experiences to an interesting problem, and therefore the development of an awesome solution. You should be able to do your work in a comfortable environment.
When I’m at home and relaxed, things I’d define as work, things I wouldn’t want to do after finishing my several hours of class, or my 9-5 shift, become fun and enjoyable again. Instead of wanting to spend my precious, precious free time playing video games or doing something else that’s always going to be fun, I’m able to associate work with fun again. And this was what led me to the realization that to be a happy person, or at least to be able to work on personal learning and projects and stuff like that as much as I am now, I’m going to have to find a job where I feel comfortable, and where I can do work that I find challenging and enjoyable. And honestly, I couldn’t see myself being really happy in a company without some kind of individualism and culture, or doing anything other than making software. Or being a rockstar. But one of those is slightly more likely than the other!